Bikko: Elaborating a New Language

I learned long ago never to chase after females, models, geniuses and money, and you are definitely all four. Patience is the very best way for me to deal with the firm potential I see in you in the vids and pix, and of course in person. (I was going to use a word like staggering potential or massive potential, but I must censor myself around you because you are so young!) But it's also my feline nature to hunt when others sleep and refuse affection or action until I know the only trap I walk into is my own; so my silence is usually a design, certainly a way for me to measure what other predators or prey are expecting.

It would be extremely stupid of me to let my doubts about a collaboration between us stop me from collaborating with you, and I do not usually do stupid things, thank goodness. So I'll keep sifting through what I have so far, even in Lebanon, and try to create something undeniably attractive to both of us. I should admit that the days after our shoots were spent writing a language about Bikko and assassination and self-identification that left me eerily convinced that I am creating the new Clockwork Orange, even to the point of elaborating a new language or style of speaking which Bikko and Blue let fall so smoothy from their tongues; who wants to hear this? Everybody? Or just horny fratboys? So your effect on my creative impulse is undeniable, as much as I would like to disguise it or delay it or damage it, even if just for self-preservation issues, never mind literary value.

Already, my instincts tell me to wait wait wait her out, but that urge to create a style or a sense of being is so immediate and overpowering and fits so perfectly with my constant fear of being dead that I do not know if I should obey my instinct. What happens if you get killed by a meteorite while I am waiting for the right conditions to convince you to play a role in my creation? Then I've got a character and a situation and a bit of truth much more important than any photo or essay or video basically rotting in my mind, the worst possible outcome of any idea.

-- Letter to Brendan Bikko about book project Bikko Flies Into the Sun